


Being Proud

by The_alpha_of_alphas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean and Cas have feelings, Destiel - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, God is missing, Hurt/Comfort, John is a dick, Just two poor scared idiots in love, M/M, Sam Ships It, Sam is the Voice of Reason, Sam is tired of the sexual frustration, Sam is us
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 18:20:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8024221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_alpha_of_alphas/pseuds/The_alpha_of_alphas
Summary: My take on why Destiel hasn't happened yet.





	Being Proud

Dean stared up at the motel ceiling, unable to sleep yet again. He turned and looked at the clock on the table between his and Sam's bed. 

"Dammit." He muttered, "Almost 3 am." He stood up and rubbed his face before taking a swig from the beer on the table.

There was a flush of wind behind him and a soft, "Dean?"

The hunter turned around and gave a small, tired smile, "Hey Cas."

The Angel frowned, "Why are you awake? I sensed your distress, what's the matter?"

Dean rubbed the back of his neck, "Its nothing, just can't sleep."

Cas looked at Dean before gently pressing his fingertips to the taller man's temple, "Your dreams?"

Dean nodded, "Yeah, not too pretty huh?"

Cas frowned again, "When was the last time you slept Dean?"

The hunter took the other's hand in his, "Its okay Cas, I'm okay."

The Angel shook his head, "Dean I'm an Angel, you know I can make you sleep. Why don't you ask me?"

Dean smiled, "I can't ask you to do that for me. I'd have you down here every night otherwise."

Cas gave Dean a look, "Why can you not sleep?"

Dean sighed and sat down, "I don't know. A lot of reasons honestly. I'm worried about me, about Sam, about Heaven and Hell...about you."

The shorter man looked surprised, "About me?"

Dean rolled his eyes, "Yes you great big feather duster."

Cas looked off to the side, "What is a 'feather duster'?"

Dean opened his mouth to explain then closed it, smiling a bit and chuckling. He looked down to see that he was still holding Cas's hand. A thought ran through his mind as he gently brushed his thumb across the rough knuckles. Something he thought about far too often lately.

It had been after Sammy left for college, Dean was proud of his baby brother no matter is Dad was or not. Dean and John had been on a hunt, they had a real lead on catching yellow eyes, the first one they'd had in a while. They had been staking out a little white-picket-fence house in Missouri. 

Somehow the conversation came up on Sam and John had said, "He may be my flesh and blood, but that doesn't make me proud of him."

Dean hadn't said anything, just let his father rant like usual before he blurted, "Are you proud of me?"

John had looked startled at the bluntness of his question and after a moment he nodded, "Yeah. Just as long as you aren't gay." Then he'd laughed.

From then on when Dean had hookups, they were only girls. After a while, the urges had gone away, and Dean was proud of himself. Now he could finally claim that his father was proud of him.

That was, until he met Castiel. If it weren't bad enough that the Angel was incredibly bossy, somewhat of a kink of Dean's, and hot as hell with a voice that made the hunter hard enough that the ride home with Bobby was incredibly uncomfortable, it turned out Cas and Dean had what the Angel liked to call a, 'profound bond'. Needless to say, Dean was screwed the moment he woke up in that dirt coffin.

Dean blinked, Cas's voice breaking him out of his thoughts, "Huh?"

Cas sighed, "I said, I don't care if you need it every night, just call for me and I'll come. You need your rest. You think you are invincible, but you aren't."

Dean sighed too, "Yeah alright." He stood up, "Hey Cas?"

The Angel looked up at him, "Yes Dean?"

The hunter looked out the window, "Do you think people are proud of me? Of the man I've become?"

Cas paused, thinking back to something that had been working its way into his mind for a while now. He remembered the moment that Dean's will had built up so strongly while he was in hell that when he'd cried out for help, all of heaven had heard. Castiel had searched him out, disappointed to find the owner of such strong will trapped in the depths of hell.

Cas had asked his father what the soul had done and he'd answered, "He loved too deeply."

Intrigued, he'd inquired further, "But isn't that a good thing?"

His father had laughed, "Yes, but he made a bargain he had to keep, made a promise he couldn't break." He had paused before looking at his son, "He traded his life for that of his brother's."

Castiel hadn't known it yet but that was when he'd fallen for the hunter. Unbeknownst his name, age, or even if he was a man or a woman. Then, after his father had gone missing, he heard talk in heaven about a Mortal who could save them all. Only later did he find out that soul he'd begun to care for, and their Savior were one in the same.

When he'd reached into the cage of perdition, and stolen a soul from its fiery depths, he hadn't known the outcome. He didn't know the struggles he would have because of forbidden feelings. With his father not around to punish him, Castiel almost gave into them. But the memory of His reaction to his brother, Lucifer's differences was what held him back. He wanted to make his father proud.

Shaking away the thoughts, Castiel looked at Dean and nodded, "Yes. Many people are proud of you. All of the people I have met that know you, seem to be happier when they are around you. I know I am."

Dean turned away from the window at that, "Really?"

The Angel nodded, staring into the eyes of the Hunter he loved, while the Hunter stared into the eyes of the Angel he loved.

Suddenly a groan rang out in the room and a pillow flew at them as Sam grumbled sleepily, "Just kiss already."


End file.
